For some of us, the memories are somewhat of a blur. As adults we tend to block out the painful past and/or rationalize it so that we can live with our own stories. in my work over the past decade as a facilitator, I have seen time and time again how adults minimize the diﬃculty of childhood and in so doing, prevent themselves from feeling the emotions associated with the past. It is important to state that even if your childhood was relatively benign- thats is, no signiﬁcant trauma or obvious dysfunction, that we all experience conditioning, and to varying degrees, a profound separation from Self. This is actually a natural part of being human and everyone has his or her own journey beginning from childhood, leading them into a state of separation. From a spiritual perspective, one can observe that this phase is actually ideal in establishing a longing for the deeper understanding of who we are and why we are here. More on the nature of being in Section 6 and 7.
The Signiﬁcance of Mother and Father
Over the years I have sought to develop a systematic way to enable participants to trace their “felt” experiences starting from whatever memory they have. In my practice , I have learned that any memory, even those that occur after ages 0-8 is a good starting point because as mentioned earlier, our belief systems are generally well established during the conditioning phase, and the dynamics learned in that phase are played out over and over again. throughout our lives. Essentially the person you know and understand your self to be is set by age 8 and we all act in accordance to these beliefs, perpetuating experiences that are driven by these beliefs, so anywhere on the timeline of your memory is a good enough place to begin.
In my own work, I began to explore the distinctions between masculine and feminine energies as guideposts for understanding how our dynamics play out. It became clear that our relationship to Father (or male caregiver) sets the tone for the relationship we develop to everything that is considered a masculine energy. In other words, our dynamic with father is the dynamic we re-create with all people, places and things that share a masculine energy. The same is true for our relationship to Mother. Our dynamic with mother establishes the relationship we develop to everything that is considered feminine.
Here are some examples of Masculine Energy that we will work with:
- Husband/ Partner
- Friend/ Male communities
- Authority/ Government Structures
Here are some examples of Feminine Energies that we will work with:
- Wife/ Partner
- Friend / Female Communities
- Body/ Self Image
For now…let’s dive into our Early Childhood and start to distinguish the felt relationship with both Mother and Father (or male and female primary caregivers). These felt experiences will start to outline the dynamics established in other areas of our lives and we can then start to see patterns forming. The patterns are useful for us to understand and imperative to the work in section 4. We must know our patterns to understand our beliefs and know our beliefs to dive deeper into our imprints (beliefs and their congruent emotions) in order to free the cellar memory of pain and conditioning that keeps us from realizing our full potential. This is a good time to point out that some of our memories are pleasant, happy and peaceful, Those memories are wonderful and deﬁnitely valid as far as their impact on the person you have become, however for the purposes of our work, we are simply exploring the memories that we’re painful, hurtful and destructive, The love we felt is perhaps genuine and thus we will leave those memories intact.